Hope - Clarke & Madi
by GoodUsernamesAreOverrated
Summary: A short story that follows Clarke and Madi for one day to see how they survive together. Kind of a background story for Madi too. I love the idea of Madi and Lexa being sisters, so I made them. Because of that, there will also be some Clexa references and a lot of storytelling about Lexa.
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: I couldn't list Madi as a character yet, but I will as soon as they add her. We've only seen her for like a minute, but I already like her! Without further ado, let's just move on to_ _the story._

* * *

Clarke opened her eyes slightly. The bright daylight blinded her. After her eyes adjusted a little to the light, she opened them fully. She was looking at the sky. She knew it by now. The stars belonged to the night and the sun to the day. Yet, she always felt a little disappointed to see that the stars were gone when she opened her eyes in the morning. It was the only thing she ever missed about the ark. Back there, she could see the stars no matter what time it was. That was before she was confined for treason of course. Other than that, she'd always hated the Ark. She had been a prisoner from the day she was born there.

Her thoughts trailed off to her friends, who were on the Ark now. At least, she had told herself that until it had become the truth. They were up there. They were safe. But she missed them nonetheless. It had been safe for them to come back for almost a year now. Why hadn't they? The scary thought that they never even made it in the first place came up again, but she pushed it away. Raven had been the one who had planned it all out, so what could've possibly gone wrong?

She got up and stretched, then checked the traps she had set up. She made sure to keep an eye on the camp. Madi was still sleeping and Clarke didn't want to wake her up yet, knowing she couldn't fall asleep last night. Still, she knew Madi was sleeping with her ears open and would wake up to any unknown sound. Clarke smiled to herself. Her little _Natblida_ reminded her of her sister. Lexa had always been a light sleeper and would be fight-ready if you'd wake her up in the middle of the night.

Two of the traps were empty. She set them up again and then walked over to the last one. The catch was a rabbit. It had probably tried to escape for a long time and was tired out by now. Clarke stabbed a knife right through its heart, causing the rabbit to die fast and with the least amount of pain.

A lot of animals had died in the second _Praimfaya_. Mammals were affected most by the radioactivity. She had noticed there were less and less ones around for the first year or so, but then, they started coming back. Smaller, simpler animals managed to survive in bigger numbers. Mollusks, for example. At first, Clarke was disgusted by the thought of eating snakes and worms, but the hungrier she got, the less of an issue that became.

She got the rabbit out of the trap and set it up again. With the rabbit in her hands, she made her way back to their little camp.

"Good morning." Madi was awake. She sat in the rover and smiled at her. " _Like done em raun oso seifas?_ (Was it in our trap?)"

Clarke nodded. "Yes, we're going to have some great breakfast," she said and started to skin the rabbit. "How did you sleep?" she asked, once she realized Madi was standing right beside her.

The girl shrugged. "Couldn't fall asleep last night, but I already told you that. I had a really weird nightmare."

Clarke was a little surprised. Madi had often had nightmares when she was younger, but they were gone for a long time now. "Do you wanna tell me what it was about?"

Usually, they were about her parents. Lexa had told Clarke that her parents were killed by _Azgeda_ , but that wasn't the truth. It was what she had been told.

The truth was that her parents were captured by _Azgeda_ even before Madi was born. About eight months after that, her mother gave birth to a little _Nightblood_. That meant Madi had been growing up in captivity since she was born. _Azgeda_ didn't kill her or her parents but tortured them nonetheless. Madi had told her it was because they didn't want to kill an innocent child, but that made no sense to her. Clarke believed that they were held hostage. Lexa had always been a very promising _Natblida_ and everyone was almost sure she would win the conclave. _Azgeda_ wasn't the most wealthy clan back then and in order to have something against the commander, they held her parents hostage. And her little sister, which she never even knew she had. It was horrible and she couldn't even imagine Madi or her parents being tortured. She hated herself for ever trusting _Azgeda_.

"I don't know. It was weird. I was sleeping and you woke me up to tell me your friends were finally coming." She paused as if she was trying really hard to remember what had happened in her nightmare. "But it weren't your friends. In the ship that landed were people from the sky, but they were weird. They weren't friendly at all and had guns too. They shot and the bullet…"

Clarke gave her a worried look but Madi shook her head, barely noticeable, and went on. "The bullet hit you right in your heart. I thought I had lost you too."

She pulled Madi in a hug and stroke her hair comfortingly. Even the thought of Madi being all alone again made her heart ache. "I'll never leave you. You know that, right?"

Clarke had found her almost a month after _Praimfaya_. She was so thin, it was shocking. There weren't a lot of animals at that time, so hunting was difficult. And the girl was only six back then. She had never been trained to hunt or fight. Clarke found it a miracle she even survived that long.

Madi nodded, pulling back from Clarke's hug. "Then I woke up and saw you checking the traps," she smiled. "I never thought I'd be happy to see you checking an empty trap."

Clarke let out a chuckle. "But they weren't all empty," she said, aiming at the rabbit. She heard Madi's stomach grumble. "If you help me, you'll get breakfast sooner."

She nodded and started helping Clarke prepare the rabbit.

* * *

 _A/N: That's it for the first chapter. Any feedback?_


	2. Chapter 2

After they finished breakfast, Clarke got their little satellite dish and the radio out of the Rover. She wanted to try to contact the Ark again like she did every day.

"Why do you still keep doing that?" Madi asked. She'd asked it often and Clarke never really had a satisfying answer for her.

"Honestly, I don't know. Maybe so I won't forget who I am."

"But I know who you are," Madi said. "You're the most badass warrior on earth."

Clarke smiled at the girl, but her words made something in her mind click. That wasn't who she was. It was who she'd become. Who she'd needed to become in order to survive. She had changed so much over the last couple of years. Who she used to be was so far away.

A voice snapped her out of her thoughts. "Can I talk to them today?" Madi's theory was that her friends up there were listening, but just hadn't figured out a way to talk back to them yet. Clarke hoped it was the truth.

"I don't see why not," she said and handed the radio to Madi, who was sitting next to her.

She took the device and pushed the button. It wasn't the first time she'd used it, so she knew how it worked. "Madi to the Ark. Can anyone hear me? Okay, that's great. I'm taking over for Clarke this time. So what are you up to today? I know Clarke's probably making me practice gun shooting or sword fighting or something like that. We already caught a beautiful rabbit this morning. It was delicious, although Clarke did let it burn a little."

"Honey, that was you," Clarke interrupted her. "I told you to keep an eye on it while I was collecting some berries."

"Exactly, you told me to keep an eye on it and I did a great job doing that. It didn't run away."

Clarke chuckled and Madi went on talking to the device. "Maybe you should be working on your ship today. It has been safe for you to come down for almost a year now. You don't have to be afraid of me. I mean, Clarke has taught me a lot of things, I'm almost as badass as she is now. But any friend of Clarke is mine after all. Please come down. I would love to meet the heroes of Clarke's stories. I still have hope and I know Clarke has too." She paused for a moment and when she could not think of anything else to say, she ended the 'conversation' like Clarke had taught her. "Out"

She released the button and gave the radio back to the blond-with-read-haired woman. "How was that?"

"Great," Clarke said, taking the radio from Madi. She put it back in the Rover and sat down next to her again. "The rabbit will last for today and breakfast tomorrow, so we won't have to go hunting today."

"So what's today's lesson?"

"I haven't thought about that yet," Clarke admitted. "You can practice gun shooting like you said. I'll make some new arrows. You can help me once you're finished." Although it was easier to hunt with guns, it scared away all the animals that were somewhat near the shooter. A bow and arrow was a lot more quiet.

Madi nodded and carefully took out a gun from the rover. She walked a few meters so she was at the right distance from the tree she always practiced on. Carved in the tree was a cross. It was a little difficult to see due to all the bullet holes that already covered the cross and the area around it. Soon, she would have to pick another tree to practice, but it would do for now.

She loaded the gun and fired her first shot. It hit the tree right in the middle of the cross. The two following shots did exactly the same. She smirked proudly. Three in a row. But she knew it would be a lot more difficult to hit the spot she aimed for once the target was moving. They rarely hunted with guns, but Clarke had let her a few times to practice. It was difficult to get the bullet right through the heart. That wasn't necessary for the animal to die, but it didn't suffer long that way.

One time she had asked Clarke why she even had to learn to use the guns. If they didn't use them for hunting, then what for? "To shoot the people who kept you and your parents captive," was the answer she'd gotten. For her, that was surely worth the effort.

Clarke watched Madi practice for a few minutes and then began making the arrows. She'd already gathered sticks, feathers and stones yesterday, but once she had everything, it was too dark to make them.

She started with sharpening the stones she would use for the tops. She picked up the first stone and began rubbing it against another stone. Once she was satisfied, she repeated the process with the other stones.

It took her some time to do it since stones are stones and would always be hard. At least the ones she could use for weapons. Madi joined her after a little while and told her that almost all the bullets hit the center of the cross or the immediate area around it.

"Do you want to make glue or string?" Clarke asked once she was finished with her last stone.

Madi had just finished hers too and laid it next to the others. "I'll go with the string," she said and got up.

She was already on her way to the woods when Clarke called after her. "Be careful with the knife. I sharpened it yesterday. Don't cut yourself."

"Clarke, how many summers have I seen?" Madi called back.

"Twelve, sorry."

And with that, Madi disappeared in the forest. She was searching for a straight tree with few branches and of course tight bark. Out of the bark, she could make string.

Clarke got up as well and made her way to the pine trees. There were a few about two hundred meters away from their camp. Lots of pine trees didn't survive _Praimfaya_. For some reason, radiation affected them more than other trees. But they were back now and she somehow had the feeling the glue made out of its resin seemed stronger than before the wave of radiation had hit. But maybe that was just her imagination.

She had just collected enough resin when she heard a scream coming from the forest. _Madi_ , Clarke thought anxiously. She dropped the bucket with resin. It fell on its side and the liquid started leaking, but she didn't even notice it. She had already started running through the woods. To what extent that was possible, at least. What if some dangerous animal had slinked up to Madi without her noticing. Would she be able to defend herself? Or what if she had fallen and broken her leg. She didn't have the equipment to let it heal properly. Maybe she did cut herself with the knife after all. Oh god, she could've cut off her finger. No, Madi knew how to handle a knife. But what if-

She stopped herself from thinking, knowing that it would do nothing good and probably just slowed her down.

She eventually found Madi sitting on the ground at a little distance from the camp. She was looking at her right leg. She had put off her boot and her right pant leg was pulled up a little, revealing her bare ankle. She looked up when she heard Clarke.

"Madi, what's going on? Are you alright?" she asked concerned.

" _Em ste non_ (It's nothing), I just tripped," Madi answered, but Clarke could hear the pain in her voice.

She sat down beside her. "Let me have a look at that."

"It's not that bad, Clarke. Really," she tried to convince her, but Clarke didn't listen. She knew Madi didn't like to show when she was hurt. It reminded her of Lexa. But Lexa knew how important it was to treat injuries right. Madi, on the other hand, stayed stubborn when it came to that.

Her ankle was a little thicker than usually already. _Please, don't let it be broken_ , she thought. "You have to tell me if it hurts too much, okay?"

Madi nodded and Clarke gently pressed on the inside of her ankle, watching Madi's face as she did, not sure she would actually tell her if it hurt. She seemed okay, so Clarke went on. She didn't feel any tenderness, which was a good sign. She went on with the rest of her ankle and her foot as well.

"I don't think it's broken," she said once she was done. "Can you stand?"

Clarke held out her hand to help Madi get up. She carefully put a little weight on her right leg, until she was standing. She let go of Clarke's hand. " _Sha_ ," she answered.

Clarke let out a sigh of relief. "Your ankle's probably just sprained. It hurts, but it will heal."

"Great," Madi said sarcastically and tried to walk. She managed to, but she was limping.

"Don't put too much pressure on it," Clarke said. "Put your arm around me. We'll go back to the camp."

Madi did as Clarke told her and they slowly started walking towards the camp. Clarke helped Madi into the Rover once they were there. She wrapped an elastic bandage around Madi's ankle to decrease the swelling. She still had them from Becca's laboratory. She wanted to give her some painkillers too, but there had never been many and after almost six years, they were all used up.

"You'll just need to rest it," Clarke told her. "Don't walk if it isn't necessary today, okay?"

"I won't," Madi said, sitting up a little straighter.

Clarke folded a thick blanket a few times. "And if you want to lay down, make sure to raise your ankle higher than your heart," she said, keeping her hand on the blanket.

" _Ai get em in_ (I know). You taught me about sprained ankles, remember?"

"I do," she answered. "But I didn't know if you did."

"How would I ever forget anything you teach me?" Madi said in a teasing tone.

Clarke was relieved. "At least you're in the mood for joking." She put out another blanket and carefully put it over Madi's bare foot and ankle so she wouldn't be cold.

"I'll be okay Clarke," the brunette said. "You can go finish the arrows."

"You want me to go away or something?" Clarke joked.

Madi smiled. "No, I just want food. No hunting, no food."

Clarke let out a chuckle. She kissed the top of Madi's head and got out of the Rover. She wanted to pick up the work she had ended so abruptly earlier when Madi called her name.

Clarke turned around again. "Sha?"

" _Mochof_ (Thank you)," she said, giving her a smile.

Clarke nodded. "Of course, Madi." As long as she was alive, she would never let anything happen to Madi. That was the promise she'd made to herself once she'd actually realized they were the last two persons on the surface of this earth.

* * *

A/N: I was really bored, so I updated. By the way, this story will have about six or seven chapters. The last (two) chapter(s) will mainly be storytelling about Lexa because Clexa is everything!


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N: I wanted to update yesterday, but I had a friend over and we kind of lost track of time. Here's the chapter anyway, just one day later than I_ _expected._

* * *

Clarke picked up her work again. She made the string and glue, then attached the stones to the tops of the sticks with the glue. After that, she cut a small notch at the end of the sticks and attached the feathers with glue and string. Every now and then, she checked on Madi.

"The pain is already fading. It isn't bad," Madi told her when Clarke had finished the arrows and climbed into the rover. "I'm just a little bored."

Clarke could understand that. She had sprained her ankle once too. She'd hated not being able to move around too much, but she knew how important it was to let it rest. "You didn't sleep well last night. Are you tired?" she asked. "You could take a nap."

"I already tried. I'm not in the mood for sleeping," Madi answered.

Clarke let out a chuckle. "How can someone not be in the mood for sleeping?"

The green-eyed girl shrugged. "Then I'm just not tired."

Neither of them said anything for a while, but it wasn't silent. They could hear the birds chirping outside. It was pretty windy today, which caused the leaves to rustle. Somewhere, a twig broke.

All those sounds were familiar to Clarke. She'd heard them countless times. Just like the voice who broke the semi-silence. "Clarke?" the voice asked.

She responded with an "hmm?"

"Can you teach me how to draw?"

Clarke snapped her head up in surprise. When Madi was younger, she had asked her a few times if she wanted to draw. She knew next to nothing about raising a child. Let alone under their circumstances. But when Clarke was younger, her mother had always given her paper and a pencil to keep her satisfied, so she decided to try that with Madi too. She had declined every time. "Why now all of the sudden? I mean, I would love to. I'm just curious."

Madi didn't answer right away as if she had to think really hard of an answer to give her. "I don't know actually. But I like watching you draw. I want to be able to do that too."

"I have no idea how to teach someone how to draw, but I can try." Clarke had taught Madi a lot of things that she needed to know in order to survive. Mostly, those were boring things. She didn't like to teach them, but she had too. Of course, she had also taught her things she enjoyed teaching. Medicine for example. And reading and writing. Drawing was a thing she'd always wanted to teach her, to what extent that was possible, but Madi never seemed interested. Clarke loved the fact that she now was.

"My sketchbook is still outside. I'll get it." With that, she jumped out of the Rover and walked around it. Her sketchbook was still laying on the rover hood, where she had fallen asleep yesterday. She picked it up, but she couldn't find the pencil she had made out of graphite. She searched the ground around the rover hood for it and eventually found it laying in the grass. She picked it up and went back to Madi.

"Okay," she said when she was sitting again. She opened her sketchbook on an empty side and handed it to Madi together with the pencil.

Madi took it carefully like it was something made out of glass and could break at any moment. She looked at Clarke expectantly. "So… What do I do?"

"I don't know. I think you just need to draw something."

Madi played around with the pencil. "Like what?"

Clarke thought about what she used to draw when she was a kid. She'd always dreamed about the ground and it was also what she drew in most of her drawings. She had drawn the earth from her imagination and from what people had told her. But painting the view they had from the rover wasn't exactly something for a first drawing.

She looked around in the Rover and her eye fell on an apple. She picked it up. "Try this," she said and showed Madi the apple.

The girl laughed. "An apple? That's silly."

"You said you liked food."

"True." Madi took the apple from Clarke and looked at it briefly. "But that's just a circle with a little stick sticking out from the top."

"No," Clarke answered and Madi looked a little confused. "That's what you think it is. Now give it a better look."

She looked at it again. She turned it around in her hand, looked at the top and the bottom and finally put it in front of her. "It's not completely round." She was speaking more to herself than to Clarke. "It's more oval-ish and it looks like someone or something really strong pushed the top and bottom to be a little flatter."

Clarke nodded approving at her explanation. "See, don't draw what you think is. Draw what you see."

"But now I'm hungry," Madi complained.

"Yeah, me too. Let's eat something." Clarke could see Madi's gaze wandering towards the apple she was about to draw. "But not that apple. You still need it."

Clarke picked up two other apples and gave Madi one of them. They also ate some meat from the rabbit they caught this morning.

After they finished, Madi started drawing the apple. She started on the right side of the paper, which she soon discovered wasn't very clever. She was right handed, so when she moved to the left side and rested her hand on the right side, she got graphite all over the paper and on her hand. " _Jok!_ "

"Madi, what did I say about swearing?"

"Float me?" She said it in a questioning voice. It was almost cute, but Clarke knew Madi hated it when she called her cute. She laughed instead and shook her head. She couldn't be mad at her.

She went on drawing. Clarke corrected her a few times, but mostly just let her draw. It was funny to see her so concentrated on the apple. Her eyes were a little squinted and moved up and down from the apple to the paper. Clarke explained how she could add light and shadow to her drawing and Madi tried to transfer the things she said into her drawing.

She held it up proudly when she was finished. "I think that's okay for a first try," she said.

"It certainly is," Clarke said honestly. The drawing was impressive, that was for sure. "You have talent."

Madi smiled happily. "What should I draw next?"

Clarke answered her question with another question. "What fascinates you?"

It was silent for a moment before Madi spoke. "I'll draw one of the arrows you made. The feathers on it are beautiful."

"Okay, I'll get you one." Clarke did as she said and handed the arrow to Madi. "Be careful," she warned her. "It hasn't completely dried yet."

Madi studied it and then placed it in front of her. " _Mochof_."

Clarke didn't climb into the Rover. "I'll go get some water. Will you be okay?"

She looked up from the arrow. "Yeah, of course. The truck's loaded with guns after all," she said and then started drawing.

Clarke nodded, although Madi couldn't see it. "I won't be long."

The only response she got was an absent "Hm-hmm". Madi was already focused on her drawing.

Glad that Madi enjoyed drawing so much, Clarke made her way to the small river that was flowing just about fifty meters east from their camp. She had one bucket in each of her two hands. The plants under her feet were already trampled from all the times she had walked here to get to the river.

The river wasn't big. Maybe it was more like a stream. Well, what was the difference anyway? Water was water. At least it wasn't big enough for some monstrous water snake to hide in. She kneeled down by a little waterfall. It was only about half a meter high, but that was enough to hold the buckets under to fill them.

Before returning to the camp, Clarke quickly washed her hands in the stream. The water was cold, but she didn't mind. She liked the feeling of the water wandering over her skin. For almost eighteen years, she had never had fresh water. Yes, it had been drinkable, but never fresh. It had been recycled countless times. They often used to make jokes about drinking their great-grandma's pea. Now, she didn't know better than the beautiful clean water she had every day.

She cupped her hands to drink some and then made her way back to the camp with the two full buckets of water. She placed them just outside the Rover and looked at Madi, who was still busy. It made her happy to see how concentrated she was on her drawing and she didn't bother distracting her by saying anything. Instead, she decided to fix the hole in the little bag she had made out of the skin of a deer. She had noticed it this morning while collecting berries and from her experience, she knew holes only became bigger and never smaller over the time.


	4. Chapter 4

The sun was already standing quite low in the sky when she was finished. It would begin to get dark in about an hour. She climbed into the rover to see how Madi was doing. She had not only drawn the arrow, but also a bow, lying under it. It amazed her how good her drawing skills were for someone who had never drawn before. " _Em ste meizon, Madi._ (It is beautiful, Madi.)"

" _Mochof. Ai ste odon nau_ , (Thank you. I'm done now,)" she said and gave the sketchbook and pencil back to Clarke.

"You can draw whenever you want," she told her with a smile. "The more you practice, the better you'll get."

Madi tried to rub some graphite off of her hand, which kind of worked, but mainly only caused it to spread out. "You say that with everything,"

"Well, then it must be true." Clarke gave Madi's drawing a better look. The lines were steady and smooth, not like you would expect from someone's second drawing. She turned one page back to the apple and came to the same conclusion. "And you've for sure never drawn before?"

Madi looked up from her hands to the trees and plants outside. "Not like this, no."

Clarke frowned at her answer, which sounded a bit odd to her. "Then like what?"

Madi sighed and turned to her. There was something in her eyes that Clarke interpreted as a mixture of sorrow, anger and fear. Clarke's expression softened immediately. She had seen that look before when she was talking about her life before _Praimfaya_. "It's okay. You can tell me."

"When I was still a prisoner, I used to make drawings to pass time. On the wall with stone. Or on the ground with sand. I usually drew the outside. I hadn't seen it often, only a few times. But my parents told me about it. I drew a lot. I liked it, I really did. But when _Praimfaya_ was about to come and they let us free I told myself I would never draw again. I didn't have to because I could actually see the outside. And because it only reminded me of that time."

Clarke knew Madi found it difficult to talk about her past and she could hear it in her voice. It was so long ago, yet it was still half of her life. She imagined a little girl trapped somewhere underground, surrounded by stone drawings. Just because she didn't know what else to do. She felt anger come up together with the thought, but she knew she couldn't change anything. She couldn't change the past for Madi, nor could she make her memories about it better. So instead, she asked, "What changed your mind?"

"You." Madi smiled. "You used to draw the outside too. Even when you were in confinement."

"It was the only thing that kept me from going insane," Clarke said quietly. "That and fantasizing about going to the ground." She let out that she had meant that her soul would return to the ground once she was executed on her eighteenth birthday. She thought differently about that now though. When she died, she wanted to go to the stars to look down and watch over the ground and everyone on it who was important to her.

Madi nodded "Exactly. I realized I shouldn't give up something I love just because I had bad memories connected to it. I created some new ones today. They're fresh and clear and beautiful. If you leave out my ankle at least. And maybe they'll overpower the old ones."

"You said that beautifully, _ai strik Natblida_ (my little Nightblood)," Clarke said and pulled her into a hug.

Madi groaned. " _Ai non ste strik,_ _Klark_ (I'm not little, Clarke). You're barely even taller than me," Madi complained, but hugged her back nonetheless.

"I know, but _ai biga Natblida_ sounds kind of stupid, don't you think?"

"Maybe." She pulled back from the hug and stretched a little. She had been sitting this whole time due to her leg.

How is your ankle?" Clarke asked.

"Much better than this morning," Madi answered.

"That's great." Clarke could tell by her voice she wasn't lying to calm her. "I want to see if it's swollen, okay?"

Madi nodded. "Yeah, of course."

She carefully removed the blanket and then the bandage. Her ankle was a little swollen, but that was normal. Nothing to worry about. She wrapped the bandage around it again and put the blanket back. "Are you hungry?" she asked once she was finished.

Madi nodded. "Yes. But can we eat outside? I'm sick of this rover."

"That's understandable. I'll help you get up," Clarke said, but Madi stopped her.

"No, I want to try it myself."

Clarke gave her a protesting look, but Madi nodded calmingly. She sighed. "At least put on your boot." She handed it to her and backed up a little, so Madi had more room. She knew how stubborn Madi could be. If she wanted to do something, she did it.

Madi put the blanket away and carefully put on her boot. She then pushed herself to the exit of the Rover. She put her legs over the edge. They weren't long enough to touch the ground, so she had to let herself fall a few centimeters. She landed on the ground with a quiet thud.

Clarke hurried up and got out of the Rover too in case she needed help. " _Laik yu ait?_ (Are you okay?)"

" _Sha_ ," Madi answered. "I think I can walk. But the question is if you will let me."

She hesitated but decided she was being overprotective. It was only a sprained ankle after all. Madi could decide for herself if she was able to walk or not. "Try it if you want. But don't be too stubborn to not stop if it hurts, okay?"

Madi didn't answer and took a few steps. She was still limping, but that was understandable. She could walk much better than this morning. "See? Everything's alright."

Clarke sighed relieved. "Fortunately, yes. Now go sit down on the trunk. I'll make a fire for the meat."

* * *

A/N: Sorry that this chapter is a little short. The next one will be longer though and we get to see Clarke telling stories about Lexa! I want to thank everyone for reading this story. I just can't get over the fact that there are people who read my work willingly, so that's amazing. And if you want to make me even happier, comment! It would make my day.

School is starting this week, by the way, so wish me luck on that one! (No seriously, help me.)


	5. Chapter 5

It was getting dark when they finished eating. Clarke put some extra wood on the fire. There wasn't much left anymore and she made a mental note to gather new wood tomorrow.

It wouldn't be warm tonight. There were no clouds to hold the warmth of the day and it was a little windy, but Madi still wanted to sleep outside, so she had gotten some extra furs out of the Rover.

In an hour or so, the stars would come out. It was something she always looked forward to and she knew Madi did too. It was the sight her friends would be seeing twenty-four hours a day. At least those who were up in the sky. But what about the bunker? She couldn't even imagine what was going on in there. How would Octavia be doing as the new commander? She was a great fighter, Clarke didn't doubt that. But she wasn't exactly a born leader. And her mother, would she be okay? Were people attacking each other every day or did Octavia manage to somehow keep the peace?

Madi's voice kept her from worrying too much. "Clarke?"

She turned her head to Madi, who was sitting next to her on the trunk. "Yes?"

"I looked through your sketchbook today," she said and searched Clarke's face for an expression.

Clarke was surprised. She didn't really mind it, but it wasn't like Madi. Her sketchbook was kind of like a diary to her and Madi knew that.

"I'm sorry," she said when Clarke didn't say anything and looked away.

"No, that's okay. I don't mind that," she said as soon as she realized Madi probably felt guilty for not asking her first. "And, were they good?" she asked in a joking tone.

Madi chuckled. "Yes, they were amazing. You're the best artist on earth, Clarke."

"I appreciate that, but we're the only two persons on this earth. The rest is either in it or above it," Clarke noted.

Madi shrugged. "Well, then you're the best artist in, on and above earth."

" _Mochof, Madi_ ," she said and gave her a smile.

Madi turned her head towards the flames. "I noticed you have a lot of drawings of Lexa." Clarke's heart began to beat a little faster by hearing her name. She did have a lot of drawing of her. "You must've really loved her, didn't you?"

Clarke smiled a sad smile. "I did." It had been more than six years since Lexa's death, but she still wasn't over it. Maybe because she could still feel her somewhere. Maybe it was true that the commander's spirit never died. It felt like she was still there to watch over them. But wasn't that stupid? Wasn't that fairy tale talk? That was something you told children, right? "But she's gone now."

"I know," Madi said with sadness in her voice. She had never known Lexa, but she was still her sister after all. "But you still love her."

Although it was technically a statement, it sounded more like a question. A good one. A voice in her head said it wasn't possible to love someone who wasn't here anymore that way. But her heart was louder than her mind this time. " _Sha_ , I do."

Clarke felt Madi's eyes on her, but she kept looking at the flames. She hadn't thought about Lexa for a long time. Well, it was more like in some way, she didn't want to think about her. She simply pushed the thought away whenever it came up. But now that she'd let it in, all the memories seemed to come back. She was afraid that if she looked at Madi, a tear would make its way down her cheek. Madi reminded her of Lexa is some way. They had the same green eyes and now that Madi was hitting puberty, she could see her jawline changing a bit. It began to look more and more like Lexa's. She'd always had a thing for Lexa's jawline. It was so… unique. Also, the way she acted. The way she never wanted to show any sign of weakness. But also the soft look in her eyes when she did.

"Tell me about her," Madi said after a moment of silence. "And not the fairytale kind of stuff. Don't tell me she cast a spell and then, there was peace. I'm too old for that."

"If you say so." Clarke hesitated for a moment but then decided that maybe it would do her good to talk about Lexa. " _Leksa kom Trikru_ had many faces," she started slowly. "The first time Sky People ever got to see her was as an innocent prisoner. She was together in a cell with Kane and Jaha to see if their desire for peace was true. Once she noticed it was, she put up her armor again. She was the commander of the twelve, later to be thirteen clans."

"No," Madi interrupted her kindly. "Tell me about Lexa," she said, emphasizing her name. Clarke gave her a confused look. "The way you saw her."

"Patience, I just gave her a little introduction," she said, although she was actually planning on telling the same story she had told her many times before, just making it less fairy tale-ish.

"She seemed hard on the outside," Clarke went on. "Honestly, I was a little afraid of her at first. I don't think I was the only one. She was intimidating. When I first met her, she was sitting on her throne like a boss, playing with a knife. I wouldn't exactly say she liked me much, but when Indra wanted to kill me, she protected me. But I think that was more because of the offer I made her. But you didn't want to hear about that so…"

"Yes, I've heard that story a hundred times already," Madi confirmed.

Clarke nodded and went on. "I discovered she wasn't too bad after all," she said with a chuckle. "She didn't murder me for killing Finn right away instead of leaving him being tortured to death. The first time I really noticed she wasn't only hard, was when she told me about Costia. She told me they used to be together. But she was killed by _Azgeda_." Clarke looked at Madi to see if she was okay, considering she and her parents were tortured by _Azgeda_ too. The only thing she could see was her interest for the story she was telling. "She told me she got over it. _Hodnes laik kwelnes._ (Love is weakness). I never believed in that. It was just a façade to hide her pain."

It was getting darker and darker. Soon, they would be able to see the stars.

"She looked a lot less intimidating when she wasn't wearing her war paint. When someone tried to attack me a little later, she saved me again. This time, I don't think it was only strategic. She gave me the opportunity to kill him, but I hesitated too long. We then heard some distant growls, which Lexa recognized. It was the _Pauna_. She stabbed the man who tried to attack me in his leg and allowed him to be killed to buy us some time."

"Harsh," Madi interrupted.

Clarke shrugged. "You wanted to hear the real story and not the fairytale. There you have it. But if she hadn't had done that, I wouldn't be here anymore, Madi. And she would've died too. We ran from the giant gorilla and I thought I found somewhere to hide, which happened to be his feeding ground. It grabbed Lexa's arm and when she couldn't escape, she told me to leave her. I couldn't do that, so I shot the gorilla until it let go. We found somewhere to hide and I cared for her arm. She later told me that not leaving her was weakness. I told her I saved her because I needed her."

"And then you kissed?" Madi asked excitedly but Clarke just laughed.

"No, then I told her she was heartless but smart."

Madi looked a little disappointed. "But how did you escape?"

"We opened the door and let the _Pauna_ in. We slipped away before it could see us and locked the cage door. We got away from the feeding ground but were both really tired. We set up a camp and got some sleep. I'm not a hundred percent sure whether or not Lexa actually slept. What I do know is that I woke up to the sound of the gorilla growling in the distance. Lexa told me that it was okay. That I was safe. And she was right. I did feel safe by her side. We were about to leave when she told me that she was wrong. That my heart showed no sign of weakness."

"But she told you love was weakness," Madi reminded her.

"Yes." Clarke looked into the flames and thought about how to word her next sentence. "But I didn't realize I loved her. I think it was kind of like I knew, but didn't realize." She earned a confused look from Madi. "Forget it. I'll just go on with the story. At that moment, I realized how to free our people from the mountain men. The army was already inside and we just needed someone to get them out."

"Bellamy," Madi said.

Clarke nodded and turned her head to Madi. "That's what Lexa said. So we arranged a meeting for the leaders of all twelve clans in TonDC. But Bellemay discovered that Mount Weather would send a missile to the village and we were the targets. I asked her if we could talk in private and told her that. I told her we should evacuate all people, but she said that only we two should slip away. She was smart. If we would warn the other people, the _Maunon_ would know there was a spy inside of the mountain. I grabbed her arm and wanted to tell her it was wrong. When she turned around, I thought I messed up big-time. Her eyes could be scary Madi." She chuckled as she thought of the moment. "I got so nervous and for a moment, I thought she would sentence me to death. But she would never do that. I did what she told me though. We two slipped away before the missile hit the village."

"So all the people in that village died so you two could live?" Madi asked, outrage showing in her voice.

"Yes," Clarke answered. "But it was the right choice. Otherwise, many more people would've died, Madi. Many, many more." She was silent for a moment and then went on. "Octavia found out and Lexa ordered a guard to kill her. Nobody could find out that we knew about the missile and your sister didn't trust Octavia. Once I found out about the kill order, I confronted her. I told her she couldn't just kill anyone she didn't trust."

"You kinda make my sister seem like a bad person, Clarke," Madi interrupted when she found a silent moment.

Clarke shook her head. "No, she wasn't. She was good for her people. She was a good leader and really strong at making difficult decisions. But you wouldn't want her as an enemy, that's for sure."

"Makes sense."

"I don't know why she held on so much to ' _Hodnes like kwelnes'_. She said I was weak for having feelings. For being close to Octavia. I told her she was weak for hiding from her feelings. That she felt something when she sentenced Gustus to death. That she was still haunted by Costia. She wanted everybody to think she was above it all. But I could see right through her. And that time, it was her turn to be intimidated by me. I could see it in her eyes. Looking back, maybe I shouldn't have done that. It wasn't Costia she was haunted by. It wasn't Gustus. She saw herself as weak for having feelings for me." The last sentence came out more quietly than the other ones. "She told me to get out, but I didn't. I told her she felt something for all the people that burned in that village. But she let them burn anyway. Then she said something I will always remember." She paused to think of the moment but went on when she felt Madi's expectant eyes on her. "'Not everyone. Not you.' I backed up a little. Not knowing what to think of that."

"And then you kissed?" It seemed like Madi was getting impatient, but Clarke only found that amusing.

"No, then I told her she should trust me if she cared about me. That she should trust Octavia."

"Better than 'you're heartless but smart,'" Madi said.

"Yes, you're right. But she said she couldn't do that. I told her that if she killed Octavia, I would tell everyone we knew about the missile. And with that, I walked away. Although I knew it was the right thing to do, to protect Octavia, it still hurt just leaving Lexa there. I cared about her. I really did." She shook her head, thinking of the memory. "I will always remember the next time I saw her."

* * *

 _A/N: We finally got to the storytelling! I don't know if everything is a hundred percent correct since I didn't want to rewatch every episode with Lexa in it, so if you see a mistake, tell me! The same goes for any grammar and spelling mistakes of course. The first two days of school went pretty good by the way. We went to some haunted house in Amsterdam for example. I have no idea why but it was better than classes so I'm not complaining!_

 _Next chapter, more storytelling!_


	6. Chapter 6

"I will always remember the next time I saw her."

 _Clarke confidently walked into Lexa's tent, not caring to ask for entrance. "You sent for me?"_

 _There was a heavy silence around them while Lexa took a moment to study her. "Yes," she said and her mouth twitched slightly. "Octavia has nothing to fear from me."_

 _She looked away, but Clarke kept her eyes on her. She was suspicious and that wasn't weird. Lexa had lied before._

 _"_ _I do trust you, Clarke," Lexa said._

 _A little surprised, she took a step towards Lexa. She didn't trust people easily and Clarke knew that. But she believed her. "I know how hard that is for you," she said genuinely._

 _Lexa turned to her again. "You may think our ways are harsh. But it's how we survive."_

 _Clarke could understand that. Of course she could. She had realized their ways were harsh too back on the Ark. But they thought they were saving the human race. Only they weren't. "Maybe life should be about more than just surviving." She broke their eye contact but felt Lexa's eyes on her nonetheless. "Don't we deserve better than that?"_

 _"_ _Maybe we do."_

"And then you kissed?" Madi asked for the third time.

"Yes, then we kissed," Clarke said and enjoyed Madi's cute respond. "It was sweet and soft and innocent. And I will never forget it."

She debated whether or not she should stop the story there. That was the happy ending. But Madi looked at her so expectantly and it wasn't completely dark yet, so she decided to tell the rest too, shortening it a bit. "But I told her I wasn't ready to be with anyone yet. And she understood that."

Madi looked disappointed, but she said she wanted to hear the real story, so Clarke went on. "I'm sorry to crush the story Madi, but you know what happened at Mount Weather afterward. First, she told me to come with her to the capital once we got our people back. That it would change the way I would think about them. And then she betrayed us. I was so, so mad at her. But I had to save my people and became the legendary _Wanheda_." She sighed at the last two words. "You know the story."

Madi nodded. She had heard the story about _Wanheda_ a few times.

"I never liked the name, but I guess it was an honor. People wanted to kill me to get the power of _Wanheda_. I hid, but Lexa sent a few people to find me. They brought me to Polis. I was still mad at her. Like really mad. I yelled at her. Blamed her for everything." Regret was showing through Clarke's voice. "Nonetheless, Lexa gave me a beautiful room to stay in. That's when I also first noticed she had a serious candle obsession."

Madi laughed at her words. "What?" she asked in disbelieve.

A smile appeared on Clarke's face. "Yes, your sister was obsessed with candles. Even her tower was practically one giant candle. It was high and round and had a fire on top of it."

Her face turned serious again. "I wished to not see her, but after a week, Lexa didn't obey that wish anymore. She told me she was calling a meeting with the Sky People at sundown and that I would be returned to them. It seemed odd to me. She first captured me and then just let me go. She said she saved me by doing that. I can kind of understand that now, but back then, I didn't. I told her I could've used some saving at Mount Weather."

A piece of wood in the fire broke in two, causing the separate pieces to burn down faster.

"I thought I was still mad at her for that, but I don't think I actually was. When she told me it was still haunting me and I was just mad at her because it was easier to hate her than myself, she was speaking the truth. She asked me what I would've done in her place. I told her I would've never taken the deal. But that wasn't true. I understood why she had done it. I would've done the same thing. Being a leader isn't easy, Madi. Whatever you do, there are people who disagree. People who blame you when you're just doing the best you can." She huffed. She knew Madi probably wouldn't understand it. She didn't know why she even told her this. But it felt good to just tell everything. "Those deaths in Mount Weather weren't only on me. They were on her too. The only difference was that she had no honor and I had no choice. And she knew that."

Clarke saw Madi holding back a yawn. It was getting late and she had to move a little faster with her story or she wouldn't be done by midnight. "She offered for Skaikru to be the thirteenth clan but I swore her I would never bow to her. The only thing she wanted was peace, but I was too stubborn to see that. Sure, she messed up sometimes, but don't we all?" She shook her head slightly as she looked at the fire.

The next thought made her frown. "I tried to kill her the next time I saw her." She turned her head to Madi, who looked shocked. She'd never told her this. "But I couldn't. I hated her, but I still cared about her. She knew that. She didn't even try to defend herself. She knew I couldn't kill her." Clarke looked into the fire and watched a twig go thinner and thinner until only a black, shriveled stick remained. "She quietly whispered 'I'm sorry' and I released the knife from her throat. She then said I was free to go, but I stayed. Becoming the thirteenth clan, I knew it was the right thing to do for my people. When I warned her not to betray me again, she got down on one knee and vowed fealty to me. I could see in her eyes that she meant it. At first sight, she didn't seem like a person who showed much emotion. But her eyes told everything. You just needed to look for it."

There was this Old Earth saying. 'The eyes are the window to the soul.' She'd never believed it until she met Lexa. In her case, it really was the truth.

"Then we come to the fight between Roan and Lexa. You know what happened. I tried to talk her out of it, but she was too stubborn." Clarke smiled. "That was the issue. We were both too stubborn. But the difference was that Lexa always knew what she was doing and I wasn't. At least it looked like she knew what she was doing. Who knows. I was so scared she would die in that fight. But she didn't."

"Because she was the most badass person on earth and impaled the Ice queen with her spear," Madi finished for her. She loved that story.

Clarke nodded. "After the fight, she knocked on my door. I thought she came to say 'I told you so'. But she didn't. She thanked me for backing her. I told her I did it because it was the right thing to do for my people, which it was. But that certainly wasn't the only reason. So we were finally good. She actually smiled at me." Clarke wished she would've shown that smile more often. It was so beautiful and warm. "But then Pike came."

A somewhat angry expression appeared on Madi's face. She shared her hate for Pike with Clarke.

"We overcame that quickly though. It was also when _jus nou drein jus daun_ (blood must not have blood) was born." A somewhat proud smile appeared on her face.

"She was reading in her room later and fell asleep. She looked so peaceful. I just needed to draw her. But she woke up to a nightmare about the deaths of the previous commanders. She told me it was a warning. I didn't believe her. Maybe if I did, I would've been more careful." Clarke's voice cracked a little. "She then saw my drawing. I suddenly felt really shy and told her it wasn't finished yet."

Madi held back another yawn and Clarke felt herself getting tired too. "I'll skip to the blockade. You know why it was there, right?" She saw Madi nod and continued. "Any Skaikru member caught behind it would be subject to a kill order. Octavia and I had to leave Polis. I confronted Lexa about it, but she said nothing else could be done. She did offer me to stay in Polis as her guest though. But I rejected. I knew my people needed me back in Arkadia."

She paused, knowing she was getting to the end of the story and what that meant. "I came to say goodbye to Lexa. That was the first time I saw her with her hair down. She looked…" Clarke paused, searching for the right word. "She looked so beautiful but somehow vulnerable too. She understood why I left. She always understood. With everything I did… She told me I had to go back to my people." Clarke closed her eyes for a moment. She felt tears coming up but pushed them away. "She started a sentence with 'that's why I', but never finished it. That was when I noticed she had tears in her eyes. She allowed me to see her vulnerability. She then changed the sentence. 'that's why you're you.' I nodded and said, 'Maybe someday, you and I will own nothing more to our people.' She answered with 'I hope so.'

"And then you kissed again?" Madi asked when Clarke didn't continue.

"No, then she held out her arm and I grasped it. 'May we meet again,' she said." She looked at Madi, teasing her for not continuing. "And then we kissed." She enjoyed Madi's smile for a moment and went on. "It was less innocent than the first one. Your sister was a good kisser, Madi." She winked an eyebrow at her.

"I don't know if I want to hear that. She's still my sister after all," Madi said, causing Clarke to chuckle through her sadness.

For a moment, she thought she would stop there, still leaving the story with a happy ending. But Madi knew what happened, so it was stupid to leave it out of the story. "You know what happened next. Titus tried to shoot me, but instead hit Lexa." A tear was rolling down her cheek now, but she told herself it was okay. "I… I tried to save her. But I couldn't. I couldn't save her, Madi. I would've done anything." She closed her eyes for a moment but when she realized the familiar scene was playing in her head like it had so often, she opened them again. "She wasn't afraid to die. Her fight was over, but her spirit would live on." She nodded as if she wanted to confirm her words. "There you have it. Your not fairy tale-ish story. That's how it ended."

She looked at the twelve-year-old even though she was crying a little. Madi's eyes were watery too. "Your sister was an amazingly smart, strong and beautiful woman who fought for peace and safety. She has done so much for all thirteen clans and you can be proud to be her sister." She pulled Madi into a hug. Another tear made its way down her cheek. It had been six years and although she tried to tell herself otherwise, she still wasn't truly over her. That bullet, it had been meant for her. She should've taken it. If she hadn't been in that room, Lexa would still be alive.


	7. Chapter 7

Another tear made its way down her cheek. It had been six years and although she tried to tell herself otherwise, she still wasn't truly over her. That bullet, it had been meant for her. She should've taken it. If she hadn't been in that room, Lexa would still be alive.

"Something's bothering you," Madi said when she pulled back from the hug.

Clarke frowned, asking herself if Madi knew what was going on in her mind or if she somehow just guessed. It didn't matter anyway. "She should've died in a fight, defending her people. Fighting for peace. If I hadn't been there…"

"Something different would've happened," Madi completed the sentence. "If Titus hadn't been there, maybe nothing would've happened. If Murphy hadn't been there, Titus wouldn't have been there. If Lexa wouldn't have been there, who knows. Maybe she would've set the room on fire by lighting too many candles and wouldn't be able to escape on time." Clarke somehow managed to chuckle despite her sadness. "Don't blame yourself for something that isn't your fault."

"Thank you, Madi." She wondered where the girl got that wisdom from. It was no surprise she was Lexa's sister. She sighed and then looked up at the sky. It was dark enough for them to see the stars now. Suddenly, she got an idea. She laid down and gestured for Madi to do the same thing. She took in the beautiful sight of which she could never get enough, no matter how often she saw it. "Do you see that bright star up there? It's the brightest we can see tonight." She pointed in the direction the star was.

Madi followed her arm. " _Sha_ , I see it."

"No move your eyes a little to the right. There's another bright star." She wondered how far away the star was. It seemed so little. A little glowing dot in the dark sky between thousands of even smaller glowing dots. Still, this one was special to her. "That's Lexa's."

"Really?" Madi said in a soft voice. "How do you know?"

Clarke turned her head to Madi. The girl did the same, facing Clarke. "I never noticed it before…" She couldn't say it out loud. Not after thinking about her so much. "Before that day. I don't think it was there before. And it's so bright. It can only be Lexa's."

She didn't know if she actually believed it but she knew that if she kept saying it to herself, even though she knew it maybe wasn't the truth, it would become its own truth. "She's watching over us all the time. Every step we take, she's there by our sides. And she always will be."

"But we can't see the stars during the day," Madi said and frowned.

Clarke shook her head although it was barely noticeable because she was lying on her side. "That doesn't mean they're not there. The stars are always there. They're just overshadowed by a brighter light during the day."

Madi smiled and looked at the stars again. "But that wasn't the whole story, was it? What about badass afterlife Lexa?"

"You're right. But I'm tired. I had to wait to see her again, so you will have to too. I'll tell you the story tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay," she agreed and pulled one of the furs Clarke had brought over herself. " _Reshop_ (Goodnight)."

" _Reshop_ , Madi," she smiled and kissed her temple.

Clarke laid down too. Soon, she heard a steady breathing next to her and knew Madi had fallen asleep. She took in the sight of the stars one last time for tonight, knowing she wouldn't be able to see them anymore when she woke up. Maybe one of those stars was the Ark. She didn't know. She lost track of where the Ark was standing a long time ago.

It didn't matter anyway. She just hoped her friends were safe. She would try to make contact with them again tomorrow. Maybe they figured out a way to respond and she could finally talk to them. Maybe they would even come down again. Maybe tomorrow was the day she had waited for so long.

She felt her hands being cold and put them in the pockets of her jacket. Her left hand felt something hard. A little box. It was about a finger length long and half of that size in width. It wasn't thick, maybe two centimeters. Clarke knew what it was immediately and pulled the familiar item out of her pocket. She couldn't quite make out the painting in the light of the fire. Not that it mattered. She knew the cover was decorated by a skull. She knew because she had seen it so often. She shoved the cover off of the box and picked up the flame. She hadn't touched it in a long time, too afraid of her own feelings. She could feel the carvings in it. The infinity sign and the lines around it. She always had it with her. _She_ was always with her.

Her eyes drifted towards her star. Lexa's star. Clarke thought she could see it shine a little brighter for a second but maybe it was just her imagination. It was the last thing she saw that night before a peaceful sleep caught her, her hope still in her hands. The hope that anything was possible in this world. The hope that maybe someday, she would see her again. The hope that someday, the bunker would open again. The hope that someday, her friends would come back to earth. The hope that someday, she would find Lexa between the star.

* * *

A/N: That's it! I really hope you enjoyed reading this story. I surely loved writing it! If you have the time, it'd be awesome if you'd leave a review and tell me what you think because I really want to know!

Thank you so much for the favorites and follows. They meant a lot to me! And of course, a big thank you to everyone who has read this story. You're awesome!

I don't think there's anything left to say so... (I'm really debating whether or not I should do this because it's so silly and stupid and nerdy, but I'm a nerd anyway so I think I'm just gonna go with it.)

May we meet again!


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